D for Diversity

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D – Diversity

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.  Just like everyone else. 

Margaret Mead

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Anne Frank

Recognising diversity is a wonderful thing.  Every single person is a unique and wonderful being.  Even identical twins are not truly identical.  Almost everyone has an urge to fit in, be part of the crowd.  There is nothing wrong with having things in common with others or to make compromises in order to maintain friendships but consistently compromising

Different doesn't mean better, it certainly doesn't mean worse.  

Advice and Activities to Practice Diversity With Your Child

From quite a young age children are able to determine people who look different to them.  It’s quite normal for them to point out a disabled person or one of a different race or to ask questions of these people about their differences.  A quick, embarrassed, “don’t point”, or “I’m so sorry” is the common reaction by the caregiver and often the end of the matter.  This leaves the child confused and feeling that differences are something we shouldn’t discuss.  

The vast majority of people do not find this natural and innocent curiosity offensive and is a great opportunity to explore diversity with your child.  If you do dismiss their questioning be sure to come back to it at a later point.  There are some great children’s books (see below) written for this specific purpose.

A simple activity to explore diversity with your child(ren) is to take a selection of different eggs.  This can be different coloured hen eggs or you can include different sized eggs too (anything from quail to ostrich eggs will work).  Cook the eggs.  Discuss their different appearances and what the inside of the different coloured and sized eggs might be.  

Open the eggs and cut them up to show that they are all the same on the inside.

Be sure to relate this to people and that although we look very different on the outside, our insides are the same.  

Affirmation on Diversity

I am different, I am special and I am beautiful.


Books to Explore Diversity with Younger Children

Whoever You Are

The Rainbow Stick Boy

The Family Book


Links are from Amazon as it's the most international site but we do not make any money from the links and I encourage you to visit your local bookshop to find the best book for your situation.

Why Meditate?

I am always interested in learning about the beliefs and practices of other religions.  Meditation is a core part of Buddhism, and has become quite mainstream in the west in recent years.  There have been various scientific studies on how being in a meditative state affects the brain.  A recent study found that only 8 weeks of regular meditation can physically change how the brain reacts to stimulus.  

"The two different types of meditation training our study participants completed yielded some differences in the response of the amygdala -- a part of the brain known for decades to be important for emotion -- to images with emotional content," says Gaëlle Desbordes, PhD, a research fellow at the Athinoula A. Martinos Center for Biomedical Imaging at MGH and at the BU Center for Computational Neuroscience and Neural Technology, corresponding author of the report. "This is the first time that meditation training has been shown to affect emotional processing in the brain outside of a meditative state." Science Daily

There have not been any studies (to my limited knowledge) on the physical affects of meditation on the brains of children and young people but teachers and other educators who have taught their classes meditative techniques and taken time in class to practice have seen better focus and ability to learn and deal with stress.  Children with behavioural issues such as ADHD have also been found to benefit from meditation.  Study by University of Phoenix

I took the guided meditation below from Buddha Net which has several others available and lots of information on meditation for adults.   

Settle your child in a comfortable position as if you are about to tell them a bedtime story.  They do not need to be lying down or sitting cross legged but in which ever position they will be comfortable for a few minutes.  Encourage your child to close their eyes so they are not distracted by the world around them but do not force the issue.  

Speak clearly and slowly and feel free to pause to allow your child some time visualise the colours and to feel the different qualities within them.

(Through this meditation the children discover their innate virtues and potentials)

Feel your body becoming lighter and lighter. See all the colours of the rainbow. Feel your body becoming all of the colours of the rainbow.

Slowly, you are now giving out red colour. Your whole body becomes red colour. Feel yourself giving out energy and strength. You are now full of energy and strength.

Slowly, you are now giving out orange colour. Your whole body becomes orange colour. Feel yourself giving out happiness and joy. You are now full of happiness and joy.

Slowly, you are now giving out yellow colour. Your whole body becomes yellow colour. Feel yourself giving out intelligence. You are now full of intelligence.

Slowly, you are now giving out green colour. Your whole body becomes green colour. Feel yourself giving out harmony and friendship. You are now full of harmony and friendship.

Slowly, you are now giving out blue colour. Your whole body becomes blue colour. Feel yourself giving out peace. You are now full of peace.

Slowly, you are now giving out indigo colour. Your whole body becomes indigo colour. Feel yourself giving out gentleness. You are now full of gentleness.

Slowly, you are now giving out violet colour. Your whole body becomes violet colour. Feel yourself giving out beauty and self-respect. You are now full of beauty and self-respect.

You are the rainbow, your colours are going out everywhere. Feel yourself getting bigger and bigger, your colours going out further and further, until they cover up this whole room, then further until they cover the whole country, and still further until they cover the whole world. As you spread out all the colours, you are also spreading out energy, happiness, intelligence, friendship, peace, gentleness and beauty. You spread out even further and become even bigger. Now your colours of light are spreading throughout the whole universe. You are as big as the whole universe, your light shines out in every direction in space.

Slowly, all the colours changed into a stream of white light. This white light is now flowing down the top of your head down to your heart. Feel all the white light going into your heart.

C for Community

The spiritual path is not a solo endeavor. In fact, the very notion of a self who is trying to free her/himself is a delusion. We are in it together and the company of spiritual friends helps us realize our interconnectedness.  

Tara Brach (American Psychologist)

We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race. 

Cicero (Roman Philosopher)

Community in the sense we use today used to be something that wasn’t really thought about.  The place you were born was likely to be the place you lived your entire life, raised your children and were buried and so went the cycle.  You went to the local farmer for your eggs and milk, the local baker for your bread and your spiritual community was the local church/temple/etc. which all your friends and neighbours were also members.

Living in the modern age, community starts to mean something a little different.  We see much more choice in who we spend our time with.  There is less free time available as we work harder and longer so we are pickier about what communities we are part of, no longer sticking with what happens to be local.  With phones, tv, mass transit and the internet we can be part of niche communities that span large areas and even the entire globe.  

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This is a relatively new way of thinking to most but to our children and young people it’s just how the world is.  If you want help with your homework, you post a question on a forum.  If you want to meet a friend you send them a Facebook message.  

None of this is necessarily a bad thing but it is essential as a human being to have actual contact with actual people and all this communication from a distance can make us feel we are having human contact without the rejuvenating effects.

Community as a spiritual practice does not have to be within a spiritual community.  Being with a group of individuals working together with a common aim can in itself be a spiritual experience.  This can be in a choir, meditation group, amateur dramatics group or even an exercise class.  Anything in which you are being fully with the people you are in the room with rather than mentally and emotionally being elsewhere.

Advice and Activities to Practice ‘Community’ With Your Child

The important aspect in community as a spiritual practice is to fully be with our fellow humans. This is not an obvious thing to do. People naturally plan and reflect almost constantly. It's how we are at the top of the food chain despite our lack of fur and claws.

What kind of communities is your child a part of? Are there any that allow them the opportunity to experience a community as a spiritual practice? If not, what class or group could they join to give them this opportunity?

Whilst engaging with their community you should encourage your child to turn their mobile phone off and to not check it during the meeting/session.  Not only can it be considered rude to be turning their attention away from the people they are with by taking a call or checking their email but it will really detract from their own experience.  It is difficult for young people to be uncontactable even for short periods of time as it is such an alien experience for them but will really benefit them in the long run so do persevere.  If you need to be able to contact them at any time most phones have a 'whitelist' setting where only your calls would get through.

B for Belief

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Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha

We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing. - Louisa May Alcott

Everyone needs to believe in something. This could be God, it could be an unerring belief that there is no God. It could be something more tangible like equality for all people, vegetarianism or democracy.

Children are not born with beliefs, they develop them as they learn from their parents, community and education. What do you believe in? What is important for you to teach your children to believe?

The most important beliefs to nurture however is what one believes about themselves.  

Advice and activities to explore belief with your child at home.

Try to make your beliefs, spiritual or otherwise, a part of your everyday life.  For example, a belief in charity could be nurtured by encouraging your child to give their old toys away, explaining that they are being given to help people who don’t have toys or perhaps enough food to eat.  

If you have a religious faith, encourage your child to ask questions of you.  It is important they find their own way to their beliefs.  

As your child gets older, they may not completely agree with your strongly held beliefs but if you are respectful of their opinions, they will develop respect for yours and those of others.  

A-Z - A for Attention

A – Attention

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. - Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhist Monk)

Paying attention to the moment is an intrinsic part of spiritual practice. This is something that adults can really struggle with never mind children. However, we have all seen a child be completely absorbed for ages in a seemingly inane activity. As children get older, there are more demands on their time and their awareness becomes more external until as an adult multi-tasking is seen as an essential ability and they are checking their emails, whilst making dinner and talking to their

partner. This inhibits one's ability to pay attention to one thing or moment at a time.

Advice and activities to practice attention with your child at home

Do one thing at a time – put one toy or activity away before bringing the next one out. Take a moment of quiet between activities to mentally put one away before starting the next.

Don't have the television on in the background whilst your child is playing.

For younger children mind jars or snow globes are great as watching the snow or glitter settle holds attention and quiets the mind.

For older children an activity that they find challenging but not too difficult will hold their attention. If it is too difficult they will become frustrated and attention will stray. A puzzle of some description is good. This could be any kind of puzzle from an ability appropriate jigsaw to word search or crossword.

Instructions to Make a Mind Jar

Take a clean jar and fill ¾ with warm water and ¼ glycerine (available from chemists)

Add a teaspoon of glitter, a teaspoon of salt, food colouring (optional) and two drops of dish soap.

Screw on the lid and shake thoroughly.  Add more glitter or food colouring to your personal taste.  

When you are happy with your jar, glue the lid on.  There is little peaceful about damp glitter all over the carpet.

It should take up to two minutes for the glitter to settle depending on the size of your jar.

 

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