C for Community

The spiritual path is not a solo endeavor. In fact, the very notion of a self who is trying to free her/himself is a delusion. We are in it together and the company of spiritual friends helps us realize our interconnectedness.  

Tara Brach (American Psychologist)

We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race. 

Cicero (Roman Philosopher)

Community in the sense we use today used to be something that wasn’t really thought about.  The place you were born was likely to be the place you lived your entire life, raised your children and were buried and so went the cycle.  You went to the local farmer for your eggs and milk, the local baker for your bread and your spiritual community was the local church/temple/etc. which all your friends and neighbours were also members.

Living in the modern age, community starts to mean something a little different.  We see much more choice in who we spend our time with.  There is less free time available as we work harder and longer so we are pickier about what communities we are part of, no longer sticking with what happens to be local.  With phones, tv, mass transit and the internet we can be part of niche communities that span large areas and even the entire globe.  

Source

This is a relatively new way of thinking to most but to our children and young people it’s just how the world is.  If you want help with your homework, you post a question on a forum.  If you want to meet a friend you send them a Facebook message.  

None of this is necessarily a bad thing but it is essential as a human being to have actual contact with actual people and all this communication from a distance can make us feel we are having human contact without the rejuvenating effects.

Community as a spiritual practice does not have to be within a spiritual community.  Being with a group of individuals working together with a common aim can in itself be a spiritual experience.  This can be in a choir, meditation group, amateur dramatics group or even an exercise class.  Anything in which you are being fully with the people you are in the room with rather than mentally and emotionally being elsewhere.

Advice and Activities to Practice ‘Community’ With Your Child

The important aspect in community as a spiritual practice is to fully be with our fellow humans. This is not an obvious thing to do. People naturally plan and reflect almost constantly. It's how we are at the top of the food chain despite our lack of fur and claws.

What kind of communities is your child a part of? Are there any that allow them the opportunity to experience a community as a spiritual practice? If not, what class or group could they join to give them this opportunity?

Whilst engaging with their community you should encourage your child to turn their mobile phone off and to not check it during the meeting/session.  Not only can it be considered rude to be turning their attention away from the people they are with by taking a call or checking their email but it will really detract from their own experience.  It is difficult for young people to be uncontactable even for short periods of time as it is such an alien experience for them but will really benefit them in the long run so do persevere.  If you need to be able to contact them at any time most phones have a 'whitelist' setting where only your calls would get through.